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I know someone who is pondan. Know him quite well. And I could say that, here, most of the guys are pondan. If not pondan, they’re all soft. Well, there is a guy I know very well who is this kind of people. And the way he treats me unlike any other pondan I knew. He is a person that knows how to respect others, and knows how to take other people’s thought and opinions.

Pondan? What’s with it. Actually, when I was in my secondary school, I saw lots of pondan people. Some of them might not pondan, but soft. But I prefer the one called pondan. Why? As I said above, they’re more to someone who knows how to respect others. Unlike the soft people I know, they only know that they’re always right. They’re always the coolest and they’re everything even though they’re nothing but shit.

Some people really look down to this kind of people. I mean a man who changed to a lady. Or a man which is too soft and likely to become a woman. For me, nothing else matter if a person who is a male wants to be a female. Nothing can change their mind to change to a female.

If following the religion, it might be so illegal and wrong, but who cares. I think the person himself doesn’t want to be in that way. They’re just a person who owns more a type of hormone in their bodies that makes them to be a little feminine and sometimes becoming more than a female person.

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I think most of you know well where I was before I came to KSKB here. Yeah, a college called SEGi College Sarawak where I thought their management is better than a college called Masterskill. Why do I say so? Have you guys read about my post about how Masterskill postponed my course to this year where I was supposed to start my course last year in September? It’s about money. Money I paid, and how I wish they could refund me the money as they postpone my course.

Well now, it’s about SEGi college. Why? Their management are sucks and rude! They actually agreed to refund me the money from PTPTN when I was in SEGi, which is about RM3K. The 3K comes from the money given to me by PTPTN which was 10K. 7K has been used up to pay SEGi when I left the college that day, and the 3K is the remainder where I had asked to be refunded to me instead of to PTPTN. So, I called them today, asked them about the money, but they actually canceled the refund to me, and send the money back to PTPTN without informing and discussing anything with me. Yeah, they didn’t even call me, ask me whether I agree or not to refund the 3K amount back to PTPTN.

Plus, they even said that I could take the 3K with me, and owe PTPTN the 10K. They agreed and confident that the 3K will be given to my by the end of January. But then, something else happened. They refund the 3K back to PTPTN WITHOUT INFORMING AND DISCUSSING IT WITH ME!

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I think, I went to Sungai Buloh Hospital to get some treatment regarding my scoliosis and sudden fever I had yesterday. It was a coincident date where my roommate was having asthma too. I sent her and myself to get a proper treatment from the hospital.

After class, we both went back to the hostel, and on our way back, we caught few taxis and asked them about the price from our hostel to the Hospital. All of them said, it costs RM4 per trip. So, my roommate and I went to our room and got ourselves readied to go to the hospital. My roommate took some food and I had my bathed. Packed our things such as books as we planned to go to the class immediately after seeing the doctor. Yeah, I got nights classes which makes restless.

When we reached taxi station which is just in front of our hostel entrance, we saw no taxis were there. Maybe because of lots of people going out and the taxis were still sending them. Waited for about 20 minutes, my roommate’s asthma were getting worst, and I was afraid that she will collapse.

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I know I am too late to post about it. January almost ends. And I’m still stuck here until the third year of my studies in nursing. I am still trying to adapt to my new environment, and I badly missing my friends and families in Kuching. I even craves for Laksa Sarawak while drafting this post.

It’s been a while, and for me, it has been like 20 years living here. I have been complaining about the sucks things that happened to me here. Never thought I will go through this kind of life.

Since it’s hard for me to study here because they’re using BM during lectures while books in English, I wonder how exactly the ministry involves has been thinking about that. I honestly said, I became much more hot-tempered person because of this. I tried to study but ended up blurred, and made me angry. Everyday, it’s the same. It’s hard. I thought I want to be better in a way that I could lower down my hot-tempered. But I can’t. I just can’change it.

Plus, my roommate. She just  doesn’t know how to respect others privacy. For instance, while I was in a good sleep, she will turn on her songs from her phone loudly and disturbs my sleeps. I can’t stand of this. I somehow thinks that, I came here to suicide. Yeah, I hardly understands my lectures and when I am at my room, my roommate creates problems.

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I’ve been busy lately, until I got no time for myself. And I’m not feeling well recently just because of my lack time of resting, and lack of proper food. I have been eating what are being selling at our hostel. Most of the time I ate chicken, rice and vegetable. Everyday, the menu will be the same. And I will be buying the same kind of food to eat.

As all of you know, Peninsular food are mostly spicy than the one in Sarawak. And for me who has been living with Gastric pain comes across this problem when it comes to food. It often makes my stomach gone in pain. It even makes me feel very down. Like at this time of moment, some parts of my body feel the aches. I experienced some kind of pains that I have experienced before. And the pain repeats.

When I’m sick, I easily gets angry and sad. Especially now when I am all alone. My stomach feels the pain, and I am having headache. And I’m not sure why. I had been in hospital before because of body dehydration, so I guess, it now repeats. But I’m too lazy to walk down to the hospital, and I’m too lazy to escape my classes just for the treatment. But honestly, it’s damn painful!

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Chinese New Year will be coming soon in February, and I have been thinking of going back to Kuching for my 5 days holiday since I got nothing to do here. But the tickets are too pricey, since it’s too late for me to buy the tickets now. I badly want to go back to Kuching. I miss Kuching, and my dad will be operated on Hernia minor operation on the 9th.

I really want to go back to Kuching, but my dad says, the 5 days of holiday is just a waste of money to go back here. He asked me to go back to Kuching only when I got holiday more than a week. So, I guess, I will only back to Kuching during my semester breaks which will be at the end of May.

My life has been going fine, I can cop a bit with mys studies with the help from all the notes and books given when I was in SEGi college. Activities here sometimes are craps, but we got nothing else to do and choose. So, we had to join even though we don’t really want to join.

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Yeah, I am a Sarawakian person. Stayed in Kuching for 19 years, and now in Selangor only for studies. Hoping so much that I could be posted back to Kuching after my 3 years course. I can’t stand of being far away from friends and family. And I honestly missing Kuching and the food. The food here tasted differently for me, as my tongue prefers Sarawak’s food more.

Here, the food sometimes are too spicy, and the kangkung tastes weird. I really love my own kangkung belacan. Unlike what I’m eating here. So not yummy! Others like the fish, also tastes different, and I’m not sure why. Maybe my tongue used to take Sarawak’s food so much, so my tongue haven’t used to eat the food here. It takes time maybe for me to adapt to my surrounding especially the food. I really miss home-cooked.

I want to share with you guys what happens everyday to me here. About my place of origin. I think everyone knows that I have families in Brunei and Sabah. Even in Selangor, and Penang. As for me, I could talk each dialects fluently. Here, when I am being around my friends which comes from Penang, I will change my dialects to Penang dialects. And some of them can’t believe that I am a Sarawakian, because I speaks fluent in Penang dialects.

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