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This is not a routine medical check up I used to have when I knew I have a painful problem on my back bone. This medical check up is needed when ones is going to somewhere. And as for me, getting in this college really caused me lots of troubles. At first, the letters came late. I came here without this and that. Without my medical check up result. Without Maybank account, and so on. I have to do it on my own here where everything I do all alone.

in fact, money easily flies. Yeah, doing my check up cost Rm300, taking the cab to the clinic cost RM20. Doing my Maybank cost me RM50 (standard la).. Taking the cab again, cost RM20. See, I wonder, this wouldn’t happened if they send us the letter earlier. I could make my medical check up and Maybank when I was in Kuching. A friend of mine told me, she made her medical check up including X-ray for only RM150 in Timberland, Kuching. See, how troublesome that is.

Now, we cannot claim the money back. Which is for me, unfair. The nearest government hospital couldn’t do the medical check up for us, because it’s too many. I think they’re too lazy to do it. So, we have to do it at private clinics or hospitals. And yeah, money flew.. And now, I wish I could claim the money, but they said. “jangan mimpilah….” SIGH

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I know this is a crazy post, but I guess, I would be really quitting my studies here soon. I don’t think I could cope with my life here. It’s troublesome. Even during my holidays. Especially regarding my roommate. I can’t stand the pain I face everyday because of her.

She makes me stress, and burden me indirectly. I can’t stand to smell the smelly socks she has whenever she comes to the room after class. I can’t make it to adapt to her behavior when she listens to song loudly using her phone when I’m still doing my revision or works and assignments. One thing again, she loves to eat, I can’t stand to face it whenever she lies to her mom asking money because she has no money to buy food as the food here is quite expensive. It’s not the matter of food that expensive, but she eats a lot. For me, I only spend RM5 per day only for food. Unlike her, and that’s why her money easily finish.

What else makes me want to quit my studies? I don’t know. I find myself lost in anger, sadness here. I rarely in a happy mood. For the past few days, I’ve been crying my heart out for the tense I’m facing right now. I want to go home, and I can’t stand to be here. The studies are not for me, far from what I expected especially regarding the language used.

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I have a friend here, who left me just because of my status. Yeah, I said to them I’m engaged. Since the day I stressed out about my status, he keeps away from me, doesn’t want to talk or see me. Well, for m it’s a good thing. Before this, he always want to be next to me. He wants my attention that I think I couldn’t give it to him.

I never thought that he will react like this. I honestly feels guilty and regret by telling him about my status. However, I do feel happy of the changing. At least, I won’t feel scared of his disturbance during classes.

Yeah, I felt so annoyed with him. He tried his best to be next or nearer to me. He will follow wherever I go except toilets. When sometimes I go and have my lunch at hospital, he must be somewhere around my perimeter. Also when I’m in practical room. At first, he will be somewhere far from me,  or in another part of patient’s unit. But after he saw me, he will come nearer, and join us in our group’s patient’s unit. Which then make me feel so annoyed of him.

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I think, I went to Sungai Buloh Hospital to get some treatment regarding my scoliosis and sudden fever I had yesterday. It was a coincident date where my roommate was having asthma too. I sent her and myself to get a proper treatment from the hospital.

After class, we both went back to the hostel, and on our way back, we caught few taxis and asked them about the price from our hostel to the Hospital. All of them said, it costs RM4 per trip. So, my roommate and I went to our room and got ourselves readied to go to the hospital. My roommate took some food and I had my bathed. Packed our things such as books as we planned to go to the class immediately after seeing the doctor. Yeah, I got nights classes which makes restless.

When we reached taxi station which is just in front of our hostel entrance, we saw no taxis were there. Maybe because of lots of people going out and the taxis were still sending them. Waited for about 20 minutes, my roommate’s asthma were getting worst, and I was afraid that she will collapse.

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I know I am too late to post about it. January almost ends. And I’m still stuck here until the third year of my studies in nursing. I am still trying to adapt to my new environment, and I badly missing my friends and families in Kuching. I even craves for Laksa Sarawak while drafting this post.

It’s been a while, and for me, it has been like 20 years living here. I have been complaining about the sucks things that happened to me here. Never thought I will go through this kind of life.

Since it’s hard for me to study here because they’re using BM during lectures while books in English, I wonder how exactly the ministry involves has been thinking about that. I honestly said, I became much more hot-tempered person because of this. I tried to study but ended up blurred, and made me angry. Everyday, it’s the same. It’s hard. I thought I want to be better in a way that I could lower down my hot-tempered. But I can’t. I just can’change it.

Plus, my roommate. She just  doesn’t know how to respect others privacy. For instance, while I was in a good sleep, she will turn on her songs from her phone loudly and disturbs my sleeps. I can’t stand of this. I somehow thinks that, I came here to suicide. Yeah, I hardly understands my lectures and when I am at my room, my roommate creates problems.

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I’ve been busy lately, until I got no time for myself. And I’m not feeling well recently just because of my lack time of resting, and lack of proper food. I have been eating what are being selling at our hostel. Most of the time I ate chicken, rice and vegetable. Everyday, the menu will be the same. And I will be buying the same kind of food to eat.

As all of you know, Peninsular food are mostly spicy than the one in Sarawak. And for me who has been living with Gastric pain comes across this problem when it comes to food. It often makes my stomach gone in pain. It even makes me feel very down. Like at this time of moment, some parts of my body feel the aches. I experienced some kind of pains that I have experienced before. And the pain repeats.

When I’m sick, I easily gets angry and sad. Especially now when I am all alone. My stomach feels the pain, and I am having headache. And I’m not sure why. I had been in hospital before because of body dehydration, so I guess, it now repeats. But I’m too lazy to walk down to the hospital, and I’m too lazy to escape my classes just for the treatment. But honestly, it’s damn painful!

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Oh! Kidding, I myself not sure when actually is my holiday. I heard that on Chinese New Year there will be few days of holiday for us in this college. But since everyone is worried that they might change the schedules, so most of Sarawakians won’t be back to Sarawak this coming holiday. Why? As for nurses, holiday will be given, but the problem is, how many days and when will it starts. So, in this case, it’s hard for us to book early tickets to go home. So, we actually discussed and agreed not to go back to Sarawak this Chinese New Year.

A friend of mine suggested us to go to Port Dickson this holiday and spend few days there since we might have 5 days of holiday. But it hasn’t been confirmed yet since we will not receive our allowances until the next 3 months. I would really love to go since I last visited PD in the year 2007. So, I want to go there again.

Another friend of mine too suggested us to come over to Penang. Since she is from Penang, and she wants to go back to her village this holiday, but her father scared that she will be alone on her way to Penang, so her father asked her to bring along her few friends who might not going back to their own places this coming holiday. So, she invited us. And again, I had never been to Penang, and I really love to go.

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