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Yeah, you read the title… and the title expresses it all… I am experiencing this kind of thing now… I am in the lack of ideas on what to blog about…. I have attending no events at all and I have no stories to share with you all… and now, I feel it’s lame on what am I going to post about…

I feel a bit lazy nowadays… and don’t ask me why cause I myself not sure what happened till I gone to this lazy part… despite having flu and coughing, which I don’t really like… I am having jaw-pain too… went to the doctor, and she only gave me painkiller and uphamol… and it still burden me with the pain… even the pain-killer means nothing… it’s quite painful and sometimes I hardly eat… haiya….

My self-quarantine went unsuccessful…. why? I went here and there… and did not care anything about I might be suspected H1N1 and spreading the virus all around the places I went…. The self-quarantine was very boring…and I really wish I have not to experience it again…. will be at hospital again this Monday, to check my jaw… even now, it’s a bit okay… but I am asked to see the doctor again by Monday… so that it will be fully heal… yayy!!!

Last night I dreamt of something sweet… I think the sweetest thing happens in life… But I knew, this dream will never come true… until… hmmm not sure until when… or will never come true even…. So, I keep it to myself, and just let myself feels the happiness when thinking of the never come true dream…

Oh yeah, I am in the sport mood… I feel like to jump, running, and so on… Have question Cyril when to play badminton again, but he said maybe next week… *sad* never mind, I still can go on with this mood by jogging… yehaa! but unfortunately, Cyril dislikes jogging… and that, I feel it’s better to jog alone rather than bring those whom dislikes jogging… kan Cyril? kekekekeke

and hell yeah, watched Manchester United VS Malaysia yesterday… through online… and I was kinda happy too see the results… even though people keep on saying, Man U people can’t stand to play during hot day… that was why Malaysia could scored 2… kekekekeke anyway, congrats to them… and from what I heard, they will rematch this Monday… and I really hope to see the match again… yehaa!!

Last night, me and Cyril went to the RWMF preview…. and you know what? It was totally awesome!!!!!!Totally a BLAST!!!!!! Reached there  a bit late, and saw Fahriee and Norman were already there…. greeted them and meeting up with Letitia…. The one whom Cyril contacted in order to get this and that from STB…kekekeke Met Mike CHENG ( I ever wrongly put his name in a picture..) and we have our seats…

I lastly seated on the grass… yeah, having scholiosis is not easy when it comes to seating on the floor or ground…huhuhuh But I was enjoying myself there… I even can’t really hear the names of people introducing themselves to me… I was obsessed with the groups performing… especially the last group… Akasya if not mistaken… All I knew was, watching and enjoying the music,…Preview done, and meeting up the STB management canceled, we headed to Simpang Tiga area for food… Mike Cheng’s idea… late night dinner at CiliPadi with Norman, Fahriee, Aziz, Mike, Naomi, Cyril and me…before we left, met April..all was fun… we chatted and talked… Me and Cyril left at 11… considering he is working today… not good for him…LOL

I can say, I am not regretting any thing on coming to the preview…. even though the H1N1 things, I still go on with this… and it was really fun… and I am really looking forward to the real even of Rainforest World Music Festival this Saturday at SCV… meeting up with all other bloggers there… This must be so fun!!! Gonna enjoy the Sarawak Biggest Party this time as much as I could….

Oh yeah, before we went to the preview, we got the chanced to meet Willie about the photos they took during the photo shoots session @ DBKU Park last Saturday… and I could really say, the photos are all amazing!!!!! They really a professional photgraphers… I like all of their photos… and wish to have all…. but from all 35 pictures, we took only 10 extra and 5 free… so, from 35 pictures we only have the 15 pictures… another 20? hmmmm Just hope they won’t delete the photos… mana tau next time, I nak another 20… and buy it from them…kekekeke Thanks to all of them for their nice works…. and to all bloggers whom might attending the RWMF this Saturday, see you guys there!!!!

Are you agree? All of this pictures are nice!!!! See more in my FB profile….

picture I like the most… leaning on each back…

On the last Saturday, I was invited by Cyril, behalf of Irene to go for food tasting at The Banquet… and as you know, the place is quite far which at at the 4th miles…

Me and Cyril were the first to come…. Then Emmelina and few other bloggers… Joined Jimmy and Annie Tan… I just don’t remember her name before… There was no session for us to get acquaintance…. So, the only bloggers I knew was Jimmy, Fahriee, Emme, Irene,Sharon…. And the other else I knew it through Facebook…kekekeke

The Banquet? Food is not that bad… and I hope they could make it better…. Food presentations are good… Thumbs up for that!!! drinks? Also not that bad….Average la…

I didn’t eat the butter prawns at last, and I was a bit having itchy here and there over my body, and that I stopped eating prawns and any other seafood…. Overall, I loves the first dish presented to us ( I don’t know the names, because they didn’t gave us the menu or food lists)…. They have it the wet butter prawns (which I ate), and it was truly very nice…. feels like eating the same butter prawns I was having during the Minex Dinner at the Sarawak Club…else like, ducks, chickens, fish and others, I think they can make it better… But it’s worth it the RM514 bill for all of us…. RM514!!!

I think I wish they could change it was, the air-cond… I went to the toilet, and what? The toilet was even cooler than inside the diner hall…. Sometimes, I felt like sweating while eating… and yeah, there were flies too… and it really annoyed us… Really hope they can change all this… We can’t really eat when the flies were flying here and there…. and it’s hard to take take the photos too…

But yeah, I enjoyed the food tasting…. With Emme around, the table was very cheerful enough… and meeting the others… Talking about foods, and discussing about the foods, was just fun… Hope to have another food tasting later… thanks to Irene and Jimmy!!!

The Bloggers

Mao Zi Yue & Cyril Dason

Fahriee, Emmelina, Irene, Alysha Toh, Cherry Sim & Me

Annie Tan, Jimmy Chin & Sharon Chong

Yeah… for this first time, I once again felt like a shit… I’m sure of the reason… I can feel, I am no different with other cats… I can feel that once in this life time, I felt very much low… There is proof and what ever I said, it changes nothing…Proofs are there… Even how loud do I swear and even how worst do I cry… I feel so ashamed of every thing… of every one…

Some one whom I hate so much… but the proofs said I was wrong… I know it was not me… and I never want to chase something not belongs to me… But yeah, they have it the proof… And I have nothing but tears… I can say, my word means nothing compared to those proofs…

I can feel it the way people looking at me… They look at me like I am a jerk… a type of person whom you people shoud not trust too… I’ve been scolded because of this… and I feel so much down… I wanted to cry… but no more tears to drop down… I felt like to shout, but will this change everything? I wanted to run away of this, but will I be happy? yeah… I am wondering on what to do next…

I felt guilt… even it’s not my fault… but yeah, who will trust me, when they have it the proofs…… Shit….. I can feel it… No one will trust me anymore… Even how loyal I am…the proof proves the shit-in me… Fcuk!

This maybe a bit personal I am writting here..but yeah… I think it’s not that personal though… So I wanted to write about it here…

I am not in the mood, am not that well enough and I even not sure what am I thinking about… My mind is messy…. All the “data” seems not in their own place… It’s anywhere in mind… Semua nya berserabut…

For the first time in my life, I felt like a shit… And for the first time in my life, I felt this… And for the first of everything, I found myself hard to decide on something…. and for the first time in mylife, I think every of the sequences on everything I will done… Usually, I will decide something without thinking the effects, but now, which makes me more harder to decide…

What the hell is happening to me? There are people chasing me out there… NON-STOP!!!! and that, I kept on running and running avoiding him… but then, nothing happened… It just not stopped at all… they keep on and still on chasing me… wanting me on this and that… even though I’ve told them I don’t want to be with them… or I don’t want to follow what they’ve said…. It annoys me so much…. When I reached home during my visits for holidays, my family will inform me, ths and that did called me…. everytime I reached home, as in no other news I should listen instead of the person….

Then, I can’t hardly out… even staying at home… Knwoing they will come looking for me at house… or knowing I might bump into them while outing… You know how it feels? Feel like a shit, when I have my own life, but I have to control my own life because of them…. It sucks when you want to go somewhere but the canceled just because of the worry-ness you will run into them… Damn!

What they actually want from me? They want me, to be with them again…. Engaging and when the time comes, getting married…. Silly right????? They’re forcing me… and putting pressure on me… It’s a big burden on me…. When I realized I’ll be alone, nothing else on mind… I will start to think how can I avoid him if so? Even though I am not living with my parents again, they still come to my house as in they still very confident I am still living with my parents… Crazy right????

I just don’t know…. Don’t know what to do…. Highlighting here….cause I know he will be reading this… I am going to Bintulu with Cyril, and I hope he will stop what ever he is doing… It’s not only troubling me, but also my family… enough is enough!!! When I said it’s over, I really meant it… we’re over and stop chasing me like I’m yours!!!! It’s been two years since the day I asked for the break up… so stop it!!!

Truly awesome!!! Why? for the past FEW MONTHS I used to have dinner or even breakfast and lunch outside… No more eating at house… Why? No time to cook and just love to eat outside… Went to The Chicken Rice shop at tHe Spring, Singapore Chicken rice, Ket’s Kitchen and KFC at the Matang Jaya, also some other few places… Love it so much to eat outside rather than eating at home….

So today, I just managed myself to stay at home after lunch… I took my lunch at Batu Tiga, ate Laksa Sarawak to fulfill my craves… But then, I could not finish the laksa as it was too big for me…. Its’ too many and I just can’t finish it… Went back home and addicted to Restaurant City in Facebook… I just can’t help myself to stop playing it… I could say, I too thinking about my restaurant even I was eating… I worried of them and worried my restaurant gone bankrupt…

Few hours playing, it was time I realized I should stop for a while… and that,I decided to take over the kitchen from my maid and my mum… I felt so honored being allowed to cook even though I was not ever cooked before this… My last time cooking for family dinner would be last year… I cooked for lunch too but it usually just for my youngest sister whom coming back from school on afternoon…

So, just now… I cooked… I cooked two dishes for my family… My maid has to cook one because I am not that good in cooking chicken curry… So, I made up decision to cook meat curry and vegetable… And what??? I am so satisfied after doing it…. I’m not sure why… but I just satisfied… Even my mum said my vegetable was delicious enough… except for the curry… The curry was too thick… but that’s not my fault… My dad said he wants the curry to be that thick and even said that he does not want to eat curry which is too fluid… so, I made it and just my mum complaint about the curry… But never mind… Its’ nice anyway… they finished it all… I am so honored!!!

If you ask, I will just say, I hate cooking, but when you’re that frequent in cooking, you will sure be so satisfied with what you’re cooking… and even you will be so satisfied with yourself… I controlled the kitchen and it was so fun enough… I cooked, and I felt like I was just forget all my problems… I concentrate on my cooking… Just cook… no other thing in mind… even how worst my problem… I  stopped thinking of it just now while I was cooking…. and lastly, I could  say, i am so much happy when people said my food is so delicious…

My sister might be jealous with me…. my youngest sister said my food was too salty… but my dad said to her that her tongue maybe in problem… Can’t taste well and that was why she said my food is too salty… LOL I can’t believe it… for almost five months I didn’t cook, i still managed to maintain my cooking style until now… and that, my food still delicous enough to serve family members… LOL

Having a troublesome day on birthday is bad… I know… It started very peacefully and turned sour-ly later then… I hate 9 May sometimes… But guess what, I enjoyed my day so much… I woke up late and spent whole day with my dearest ones…

We did nothing… Sitting at home and watching movies,sleeping…. I don’t mind doing that because I would love to say, I enjoyed it so much… I felt relaxed with tonnes of problems in mind… Evening came by, and we started to think where to have dinner… Jambu? The Junk? or Bla Bla Bla?  He was not sure on where to go after that… obviously on his face, he was thinking on the very nice place to bring me… Thanks!!!

Going to tHe Spring to buy some doughnuts from Big Apple and started to think back how the manager got angry with blogger whom came there to search for Minex Diamond? And smiling too much for the polite way of the cashier on treating us customers… With smiles and jokes he made….

First planned, going to The Junk, and forgot about the Wesak Day celebrated by the Buddhist…. Having fun all the way, and finally got stuck in the jamm near to the St. May secondary school… Turned other way round in order to get to the Junk Restaurant… again, trapped in the very worst jammed… broke the road rules by turning away and changed our way to the Jambu Restaurant… I was STARVING!!! been there once, this second time going, we were taught that not to use the entrance clearly seen on the road, but it’s better to use the other way entrance which can’t be seen when you’re on the main road… The one clearly seen is so much dangerous!!!!  LOL

Reached there and ordered everything…. It’s much different now… The waiters are much decent than before… And they are much polite too… I ordered my food as same as Cyril’s… I was starved and I thought of need some “extra” food”, so I ordered the “White Rajah NZ Sirloin” if I’m not mistaken… while waiting for food, cam-whore is the must… Jambu was a bit busy that night… With the laughs of people around us, I could felt a bit in Magenta there… Noisy… Even the couple behind our seat was talking badly… The girl talked non-stop and the guy listened… Her voice maybe soft but high for us… We could even hear what they were talking….

My drink? Since that I stopped from taking  liquors, I ordered apple juice for my drink while Cyril took “Whiskey Coke” as his drink… I tried his drink a little and it was nice… Sayang nya I dah stop... kekekeke our food came by, and tasted delicious…. Food presentation is good compared to 5 star hotel we ever been to…Just that, I’m not into the “black paper” sauce… While eating those, I compared the food taste with the one tasted with teriyaki-sauce… A bit regret on ordering it with black paper sauce… I should maybe order it with some other sauce as in sweet and sour…. That would be nicer….

Before leaving, going to the toilet is a must… While waiting for Cyril to settle down, I found Breeze Magazine Issue 15… And was hoping to see us on the magazine… But tett!!! No!!! Have to wait for another issue in order to see our face pasted in the magazine with each one holding a cup of whiskey… I was kind of drunk that time… And I remember, the photo was taken by Fahriee… But not sure, because Cyril said it was taken by Norman… Oh God, hard to remember… so,Fahrie or Norman? thanks for the picture!!! it’s nicely pasted in the magazine for one Borneo to read…

Yeah, to say I enjoyed my birth-day, I enjoyed it so much…. to say I hate when it comes to 9 May…hmmm Not really… But anyway, thanks to Cyril for all these… He managed to joy me on my birthday… Thanks for the dinner Hun!!! And thanks to my family and friends for the wishes…I didn’t get any present on this birthday, but I guess it’s alright… I’m too old for all those… I can’t believe I am 18 now….

My dad quoted this to me yesterday (10th May) ” There was a cute little girl turned into a beatiful lady yesterday”… LOL Thanks Dad!!!